Friday, 4 July 2008

Novocaine


I had just recovered from my exhaustion/stress rash, and was feeling quite pucker as I dashed to a dental appointment yesterday afternoon. I tripped on the kerb, fell off my 3¾-inch heels and, in slow motion, collapsed towards the pavement. I managed to break the fall with my left hand, so avoided skinning my knees.

A kind stranger arrived at the scene in an instant. I assured him I was fine.

“As long as you’re all right,” he said.

“Yes, I think I’ve sprained my ankle,” I said, still crumpled on the pavement.

“That’s okay, then,” he smiled, before dashing back across the road.

Perhaps he’d hoped for a broken leg, a fractured skull, or maybe internal bleeding. ;)

I hobbled into the dental hygienist’s surgery then 'relaxed' in the chair. (I have a low tolerance for any form of dentistry, so much so that a humble clean and polish seems brutal.)

The hygienist asked if I’d tried the new PowerPolisher toothbrush heads she’d mentioned at my previous visit.

I must have been in shock from the fall, because I found this completely hilarious! Even when the goggles went on, with my mouth wide open and full of instruments, I couldn’t stop laughing at the dental dialogue.

Lying in the chair, my mind usually plays THAT scene from Marathon Man, but yesterday it was the black comedy Novocaine, with Steve Martin as the dentist. Then, suddenly, I was Jim Carrey as the patient... But which film is that?!

And it’s ironic that I should take such a tumble when my party-piece is stunt falls. Heart attack, bludgeoned from behind, gunshot impact... I do a convincing fall, without hurting myself at all!

11 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

Take care and try to stay in an upright position in the near future.

Mary said...

LOL! Thanks, Travis! :)

Natalie L. Sin said...

Did you get a candy bar ; )

Mary said...

Natalie - LOL! Sadly, my dentist believes we should eat NO refined sugar. She also runs marathons. :)

Catherine J Gardner said...

Obviously a woman of many talents... My party piece is to fall head first and look like I have hurt myself. The blood normally gives it away.

I have my dentist appointment in two weeks. Joy to the world.

Mary said...

Cate - ouch! :)

Natalie L. Sin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mary said...

Sorry to have to delete the previous comment. (I love comments!) But please think of this as a “family blog” and keep the language “clean”. Thanks! :)

John said...

It seems you and Jim Carrey have much in common. ;)

Mary said...

Indeed we do, John. He’s such a copycat... ;)

Sean Butcher said...

Or perhaps he was waiting for you to tell him that you need him to carry you? Ah well, we all do have some things playing in our heads whenever we're on the dentist chair. Dental movies, dancing teeth, and all that.