Novocaine

I had just recovered from my exhaustion/stress rash, and was feeling quite pucker as I dashed to a dental appointment yesterday afternoon. I tripped on the kerb, fell off my 3¾-inch heels and, in slow motion, collapsed towards the pavement. I managed to break the fall with my left hand, so avoided skinning my knees.

A kind stranger arrived at the scene in an instant. I assured him I was fine.

“As long as you’re all right,” he said.

“Yes, I think I’ve sprained my ankle,” I said, still crumpled on the pavement.

“That’s okay, then,” he smiled, before dashing back across the road.

Perhaps he’d hoped for a broken leg, a fractured skull, or maybe internal bleeding. ;)

I hobbled into the dental hygienist’s surgery then 'relaxed' in the chair. (I have a low tolerance for any form of dentistry, so much so that a humble clean and polish seems brutal.)

The hygienist asked if I’d tried the new PowerPolisher toothbrush heads she’d mentioned at my previous visit.

I must have been in shock from the fall, because I found this completely hilarious! Even when the goggles went on, with my mouth wide open and full of instruments, I couldn’t stop laughing at the dental dialogue.

Lying in the chair, my mind usually plays THAT scene from Marathon Man, but yesterday it was the black comedy Novocaine, with Steve Martin as the dentist. Then, suddenly, I was Jim Carrey as the patient... But which film is that?!

And it’s ironic that I should take such a tumble when my party-piece is stunt falls. Heart attack, bludgeoned from behind, gunshot impact... I do a convincing fall, without hurting myself at all!